Oral sex is amazing. Like, seriously, the act of penetrative sex is mostly always awesome, but for many (many) women, cunnilingus is the best and only way they can reach a mind-blowing orgasm. So, it is really kind of meh when you’re with someone that just can’t get the job done and that’s the only way you can “get there”.
That’s why today I want to touch on the subject of going down on her. If you can master this important sex skill, you’re going to have your lady friend, or friends, squirming, squealing, and begging for more in no time. And let’s face it, it is sure a fun thing to practice!
If you’ve never seen a vagina, you’ve never attempted to go down on a girl, or you’re just not sure what to do when you’re down there, this article will teach you how to properly go down on her so that she enjoys it.
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7 Tips for Going Down on Her…The Right Way
To start doing oral sex on a woman the right way, you kind of need to understand what she is rocking below the belt.
I’m not going to provide a diagram here because there is nothing grosser and more boring than high school sex-ed taught by the gym teacher who is uncomfortably droning on. You can find diagrams online anywhere and they can help point out where the hotspots are on a lady’s bits.
If you are in a relationship, or you have a willing sex buddy, she can also show you where things are and how she likes them. Remember, though, that not every woman is going to be the same and what one likes, one might not enjoy too much.
The biggest key to doing anything sexual and making it fun is to keep the lines of communication open with them so that everyone has fun!
So, now that you know about her nooks and crannies, here are the seven tips for going down on her the right way.
#1: Keep Things Slow.
Sometimes sex is a quickie thing. You both can’t keep your hands off of each other and you’re just going to town, or you’re trying to fit it in before someone notices what you’re doing. In those cases, you’re probably not focusing on going down on her; it’s more of a “wham, bam, thank you ma’am.”
However, if you are focusing on oral pleasure, you need to remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint. So many times, when we’re excited, aroused, or nervous we start going in hyper-speed, but for this situation and for most women, this isn’t just going to work.
If you’re going down on her, slow it down, even slower than you think you need to be going (unless and until she tells you otherwise).
#2: Build Up the Sexual Anticipation.
For guys, it can be very difficult to keep “things” under control when the bedroom antics are getting hot and heavy. I mean picture it:
You’re excited.
You’re with a naked lady.
She’s touching you AND letting you touch her.
Then she’s making all those noises that just get your goods throbbing.
If you’re a gentleman, you want it to be ladies first, but damn it can be hard to hold yourself off when you just want to bust a nut. That may prompt you to just dive in tongue first and hope she gets off as quickly as possible.
Let me tell you, this is the absolute wrong thing to do.
When you’re going down on her, you want to be build up some anticipation. You want to tease her, caress her, touch, lick, kiss, and breathe erotically all over her, not just her kitty. Sex is about the build-up for us and the more you do to get us revved up, the more we’re going to be begging for you.
#3: Use Your Breath, But Don’t Darth Vader Her.
Ok, this one is going to need some clarification because I can just picture guys doing the old “Darth Vader” asthmatic panting on a lady’s parts and then getting mad because she thought it was creepy. And it is creepy, so don’t go all COPD on your lady.
Breathing is an often overlooked tool in the sexual arsenal and if done right, can heighten the mood. Exhale slowly, with your mouth wide open, using warm air to get her excited. Give her a slow and sensual lick, from the bottom of the vagina to the top and then switch to a pursed-lip, cool air tactic on the wet spot you’ve just created.
#4: Get That Tongue A’Circlin’.
Once your lady is feeling excited and you’ve gotten her ready for the main oral event, the worst thing you can now do is hit her straight on with the jackhammer tongue. Don’t pretend that you’re repeatedly hitting an elevator button to close the door before that creep from down the hall tries who never shuts up tries to get in with you.
Instead, use your tongue gently, circling around her love button, teasing her. Eventually, you can use your tongue flat, pushing against her clit. And remember, every woman is different, so if she likes you to get rough with her little bean right away, do what she likes.
#5: Don’t Always Stop When She Cums.
Again, this is personal preference, so talk to your lady first. But, if she’s down, after she orgasms her pelvic muscles are going to contract and radiate out from there to the rest of her body. This is why it is so pleasurable for women to have an orgasm.
You can heighten this experience by applying pressure to the length of her vulva or to the clitoral head (with caution, it may be tooooo sensitive at that point) either with your tongue, your flat palm, or even a sex toy.
#6: Do a Debriefing…Later.
Along with talking about what she likes before you both get busy, it’s also beneficial to discuss what she did or didn’t enjoy once the deed is done. There is nothing wrong with talking about sex, in fact, it’s the mature thing to do and the only way you’re going to improve is to get feedback.
Don’t get offended if you did something she didn’t enjoy, just work on it for next time!
#7: Do Your Homework on Your Downtime.
Homework? Whaaa?
Yep, when you’re not in the bedroom is one of the best times to work on your technique. You want a nice strong tongue that can keep going for her, and all ya’ll guys know that some women take a loooong time to cum. That means your tongue will be working overtime and it can get exhausting.
When you’ve got some free time and you’re not around people who might get really offended by your lewd movements, open your mouth and move that tongue up and down, left and right, and all around. Just like you should exercise your other muscles, you should exercise your tongue for more stamina.
Bonus Tip: Relax and Enjoy.
Sex shouldn’t be clinical, unless you’re into that sort of thing. So, while these tips will go a long way in improving your technique when going down on her, they won’t do a damn thing if you’re not relaxed and enjoying yourself. Just as it’s important to get her calm, relaxed, and ready, you need to do the same for you.
Now, practice your tongue movements and get yourself ready to blow her mind!
Related article: How To Give The Best Blowjobs
