There is probably nothing more exciting than sex. Sure, there are supposedly desserts that are “better than sex”, but whoever is saying that has had some crummy sex in their lives. Truthfully, sex, and specifically having an orgasm is one of life’s greatest joys.
So, what happens when your orgasms aren’t cooperating, or you just don’t have the stamina in bed to prolong the good times? Nobody wants to be “that guy”, who finishes too quickly and becomes known as a “two-pump chump.” Luckily, you don’t need to feel badly if that’s something that happens to you because it happens to most guys at some point in their lives.
Whether it be stress, a medical issue, you’re just too excited, whatever, one out of every three men will have trouble with not lasting as long as they like in the bedroom.
The biggest question from guys is always, “How can I last longer before having an orgasm?” And if you’re one of those guys, here are the tips that will not only help you increase your confidence, but also to help you last longer in bed.
Average Ejaculation Time
In a study done by the Journal of Sexual Medicine, it was found that the average time for ejaculation, that is the time between vaginal penetration and the act of ejaculation was an average of 5.4 minutes.
However, this isn’t really the norm; in a recent book on adult sex education found that most men reportedly finish within two minutes. For someone that has premature ejaculation, this time is a minute and under, no matter how hard you try to control yourself.
Even if you don’t have a premature ejaculation diagnosis proper, almost every guy would like to be able to extend his orgasms. If you’re looking for ways to last longer in bed, here are the best ways to do that:
Tips To Make Yourself Last Longer (Slow Your Orgasm)
I want to preface this section with all the legal mumbo-jumbo we’re supposed to include. If you’re having any issues with your orgasms, private parts, or any other health-related issue, you need to see a doctor. Yes, it’s going to be awkward, but you’re a grownup and you can do it.
I’m not going to scare you, but if you’re having issues with the private parts, you could have other issues going on and it’s always better to be safe than sorry in the long run. So, once you’ve got that medical checkup and things are ok in that area, you can then focus on these methods to last longer in bed.
#1: Kegels
Wait, aren’t those the things that women are supposed to do after they’ve had kids so they stop wetting themselves when they pick things up and to make it feel like less their man is throwing a hot dog down a hallway when they have sex?
Yep, just like women, men have pelvic floor muscles known as pubococcygeal (PC) muscles. You can find them by taking a pee, stopping the flow of the urine, and starting again. Those are the muscles.
To strengthen those muscles, it is recommended that you stand in the mirror naked and try to lift your testicles up or shorten your penis without using your hands.
It will be all muscle work and you’ll do this for 10-second increments for 10 rounds. Once you’ve seen how it works in the mirror, you can literally do this anywhere (with your damn pants on, please).
Research has shown that between 60 – 75% of men who have trouble prolonging their orgasms improved their rate strictly by practicing Kegels on a regular basis.
#2: Limit How Much You’re Thrusting
Let’s face it, if you’re thrusting like a wild rabbit, you’re getting yourself and your “good buddy” wound up for the final act. I know it feels good, but the more you thrust, the quicker you’re going to orgasm.
To last longer, use your penis to tease her clitoris, have her play with your penis, and do as minimal thrusting as you can until you’re ready. Heck, this might even make her squirt if you do it correctly.
#3: Try Out Edging
If you’re a guy, you’re going to masturbate. (Don’t lie and say you don’t) This is a great time to practice something known as edging.
Edging is getting yourself right to the point of an orgasm through manual stimulation, then backing off completely until you’ve got yourself back under control. Kind of seems like its defeating the purpose of a wank session, right?
But, according to sex therapists, edging helps your brain to get control of the orgasm response and allows you to last longer.
Oh, and speaking of masturbation, doctors at the Mayo Clinic recommend masturbation an hour or two prior to sex with a partner to help delay orgasming.
This works especially well if you haven’t had an orgasm in a while, which puts you more at risk for shooting off quickly. Masturbation should help you delay that climax, which is definitely a good thing.
Just be careful. If you try to do a rub-off too soon before a real sexual encounter, you might not be able to perform at all, so time it appropriately for your body.
#4: Let Her Finish First
We always hear “nice guys finish last” and in the bedroom, that might help you to last longer as well. Many good guys get very worked up if their partner doesn’t orgasm, putting even more pressure on themselves. Talk to your partner, find out what works for her, DO THOSE THINGS, and focus less on yourself.
Once she’s finished and feeling amazing, then it’s your turn.
#5: Use Condoms
Unless you’re in a monogamous relationship, you should be using condoms anyway. But, I won’t get on my soapbox other than to say, stay safe out there.
Now, most guys don’t like rubbers because, well, they suck. They feel different, you’re stopping what you’re doing to slip it on, they can break, yadda yadda yadda.
Here’s the good thing about them, besides the preventing sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies: if you choose a brand that is a little thicker, it helps to desensitize the feelings you’ll get and could help you prolong the time until you orgasm, thus helping you to last longer.
#6: Try Some Alternative Things
Now, the things I’m about to recommend are for those of you that are really struggling with lasting longer in bed. Of course, legal stuff here, contact your doctor first and make sure they are an OK option for you and your body, so things don’t go awry.
The first option is using anesthetic wipes. Companies like Roman offer up these wipes that have a bit of benzocaine in them, which will numb things down there, delaying the sensations necessary for an orgasm.
There are also sprays, topicals, and condoms that do the same things, but they can also cause your partner to be numbed as well. If you plan on using anything like that, make sure your partner has no allergies and is on board with trying out numbing agents first.
Another option is using technology. The FDA has approved something called Prolong, a device that helps you practice delaying ejaculation by jerking off into a $300 gadget over a period of six weeks.
There are also apps that help train you over a period of time to last longer and these may be something you want to try before spending the big bucks on an artificial vagina.
Finally, there is also the options of using medications, however, this is typically reserved for those with legit PE and are considered a last resort. Please, do not order pills from some unknown source online. There is no guarantee they are safe, and you have no idea where they’re coming from. Be safe!
Conclusion: To Last Longer, You’ve Got to Practice
It can be super stressful to come too quickly in bed. Every guy wants to last longer and when you can’t, you think something is wrong with you. Trust me, there is not a thing wrong with you if you shoot off too soon.
The good news is that most cases of coming too quickly can be worked on and fixed with a little practice. If you give these six tips a try, you’re sure to last longer and have the satisfying sex you are craving.
